Lilly's Day!

Obama signed his first bill into law today. The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, rejected by our last administration, relaxes the statute of limitations on workers’ rights to sue in pay discrimination. Ms. Ledbetter found out at the end of her career at Goodyear that she had been consistently paid less than male employees in the same and even lesser positions. The Supreme Court (love them!) determined the statue of limitations in this case ended 180 days after her first paycheck -- the incident of discrimination. Apparently, she should have discovered this pay disparity in the first six months of her new job. (By the way, do you know if you make more or less than the person sitting in the cubicle next to you?)

I'm seriously swooning over Obama. And it's a good reminder to all of us: You can clip coupons, you can find cheaper gas, you can go without dinner at a restaurant. But voting is free, and a little political action can really change your bottom line.

Too, Too Clever

This study is pretty interesting, but -- Mousewife? Really?

Three Ways to Forge Ahead (When You Want to Sit Down and Cry)

I got up particularly early this morning. I had some work obligations to get through -- nothing too hard, but it had to be done in the wee hours. So imagine my disappointment when my kid woke up an hour early as well. Crying bitter tears.

After feeding her, playing with her, even turning on the TV (a last resort, I swear), she was still weepy and clingy and wouldn't leave me alone long enough to read an email, let alone get my work done. I really thought I would sit down and cry.

I usually have three ways to get through any type of frustration, and this morning I did them all:

1. Hand off: Get someone else to help you, or even just be in charge long enough for you to get your equilibrium back. This morning, it was waking up my husband and telling him, "Tag, you're it. Please."

2. Shower: Nobody can follow you into the shower. The shower is warm and relaxing. You can metaphorically wash that anything out of your hair.

3. Walk: Just moving your legs and getting air into your lungs will free up your mind and let you get some perspective.

I didn't get my work done on time, but that was clearly never going to happen anyway. And when I was finally able to turn back to it, I had the patience and focus to just get it done. Pat me on the back; I made it.

Tip of the Day: Your To Do List

It's Monday morning. You schlep yourself to work. You curl up with a cup of coffee and your computer and open your email in box to get yourself ready for the week. Seemingly moments later, you look up, now-cold coffee clutched in your hand, and it's time for lunch.

Save yourself a little time and get yourself focused faster by jotting down notes as you clear your in box. Then WALK AWAY FROM YOUR DESK, notes in hand, and find a little quiet spot. Take your coffee with you. Write your weekly to-do list on paper. You'll get back to your desk surf-free and ready to go.

Defuse yourself

As my prep time for the holiday season shortens, so does my snap time -- the time it takes to blow my top while standing in line, waiting on hold or sitting in a meeting.

I was on the verge of snapping all last week, what with the shopping, cleaning, decorating, cooking and corresponding before the holidays. Add a busy work day and a packed evening schedule and my teeth were clenched. That's why I was so glad to remember a stress-reducer I discovered when I was pregnant.

Background: I had preeclampsia at the end of my pregnancy -- a condition that makes your blood pressure shoot up very quickly. Unless I wanted to be put on bed rest, my doctor told me, I had to be creative and fast in defusing myself. Not easy in New York.

My solution? Every time something happened that pushed me to the edge, I would do something generous for someone. As soon after the event as possible. Just last year, scientists confirmed that increased oxytocin (the body's love hormone) leads to increased empathy and generosity. Can it work the other way? If oxytocin is normally released by hugging and touching, can it also be released by giving?

In any case, it worked for me. I'd do something nice for someone and they'd smile at me and suddenly, I wouldn't care a whit about the jerk who just stole my seat. I felt in control and happier with humanity. Here are some of my recommendations:

* When a coworker makes a backstab-y comment in a group meeting, take a walk to get cookies for the receptionist.

* When a nasty retail worker at the front of a long line treats you poorly, turn around and thank the person behind you for her patience.

* When some guy, say, pushes past your pregnant belly to get the last subway seat so he can do his stupid crossword puzzle, give the homeless woman at the top of the stairs $5 and a hug.

Anything work for you?

10 Reasons Why I Love My FreshDirect

FreshDirect is one of the local grocery delivery services here in New York. I've always enjoyed grocery shopping, but I turned to FreshDirect in desperation after I had my baby. I was waaay too busy to get out of the house for two hours at a time, and I couldn't figure out how to shop with a newborn. Now that my life is back to normal, I'm still addicted to online grocery shopping. Here's why:

1. The delivery guys are really, really nice.
2. I can shop from all my old lists, so I can get those yummy pickles again without having to remember where I found them or what they're called.
3. I can set up a regular list that I always use. (milk, eggs, mini frozen quiches)
4. They recently added quality rankings, so I can see which vegetables look good this week. (The biggest downside to grocery shopping online.)
5. They refund your money for any issue you have, and they write polite, little notes apologizing for those issues. Where did they find these people?
6. They're online! I can shop from work when I'm on conference calls -- er, my lunch break.
7. I never buy crap I don't need just because it's in a neat display.
8. I don't have to lug groceries (and a baby, and a stroller) up to my 4th floor walk-up apartment.
9. I don't have to wait on line. Ever.
10. Did I mention how nice the delivery guys are? Seriously, it makes my day.
    

Oh no! More chores!

It's a scary time for us all financially, and I know I'm not the only one taking a look at my monthly expenditures to see where I can scale back. Sadly, when you're saving money, you're almost always losing time.

Check out my savings and the new chores they generate:

$20/week on drycleaning = 3 hours washing and ironing
$40/week on takout = 2.5 hours shopping, cooking and cleaning
$20/week on lunches = 1.5 hours shopping, cooking and packing

Dang. That's nearly an extra workday. I was going to roll up my sleeves and work harder/faster/better, but then I took a deep breath and reconsidered. Good thing. Here's my plan instead:

1. Figure out what's 'good enough' to leave alone. Dirty dishes bother me, but I can do the laundry less frequently.
2. Find a way to combine some tasks. I'll iron while I watch TV.
3. Renegotiate with my husband. I'm thinking he can take a turn cleaning the bathroom, right?