As my prep time for the holiday season shortens, so does my snap time -- the time it takes to blow my top while standing in line, waiting on hold or sitting in a meeting.I was on the verge of snapping all last week, what with the shopping, cleaning, decorating, cooking and corresponding before the holidays. Add a busy work day and a packed evening schedule and my teeth were clenched. That's why I was so glad to remember a stress-reducer I discovered when I was pregnant.
Background: I had preeclampsia at the end of my pregnancy -- a condition that makes your blood pressure shoot up very quickly. Unless I wanted to be put on bed rest, my doctor told me, I had to be creative and fast in defusing myself. Not easy in New York.
My solution? Every time something happened that pushed me to the edge, I would do something generous for someone. As soon after the event as possible. Just last year, scientists confirmed that increased oxytocin (the body's love hormone) leads to increased empathy and generosity. Can it work the other way? If oxytocin is normally released by hugging and touching, can it also be released by giving?
In any case, it worked for me. I'd do something nice for someone and they'd smile at me and suddenly, I wouldn't care a whit about the jerk who just stole my seat. I felt in control and happier with humanity. Here are some of my recommendations:
* When a coworker makes a backstab-y comment in a group meeting, take a walk to get cookies for the receptionist.
* When a nasty retail worker at the front of a long line treats you poorly, turn around and thank the person behind you for her patience.
* When some guy, say, pushes past your pregnant belly to get the last subway seat so he can do his stupid crossword puzzle, give the homeless woman at the top of the stairs $5 and a hug.
Anything work for you?
